Welcome to our career college. Many of you are here to study art, gaming, graphic design, the music business, interior design and wedding planning. Actually there are few if any jobs in these fields, but we feature them in our commercials, because we know that when you saw the commercial, you were lying around the house one afternoon, going no where quickly in life and our school looked like a dream come true.
For instance in only two short years, we promised to train you to be a success in the Music Business. Forget the fact that our school is located in East Jesus, Minnesota and the nearest studio is – oh – about a thousand miles away. Also please don’t ask any of our music program graduates if they ever got a job in the music industry. They will lie and say they did not. Many of our graduates are working with music right now, they are stocking CDs and selling IPODs at Wal-Mart, Target and other fine retail establishments.
True ,they could have gotten these positions without paying us over $30,000 but that is a minor point because they are paying back the loans and we are not.
The cost of our school is nothing you have to worry about. Well, at least not right away. It won’t cost you a dime while you are attending our school. The federal government and local banks have some fine loan programs we can hook you up with. Of course when you have reached the limit allowed for loans, we do tend to encourage you to attend another school.
Change is good. But if you have no change in your pocket, you might want to consider leaving our college.
And like we said, do not worry about paying back the loans now, let’s just say you will have plenty of time to worry about that later .
Transfer? Do your credits transfer? Of course they do. But please don’t ask any specific questions like WHERE do they transfer and WHAT colleges accept them. Let’s just say that the credits do transfer if you have a burning desire to go to Al’s Transmission and Cooking School, AL is a fine guy and I couldn’t ask for a better son-in-law.
I hope I have answered all your questions and just sign here and in two years, you too can be working in fashion running the fitting rooms at Wal Mart and other fine retail establishments. You might also want to look into our culinary program, Many of our culinary graduates are working at nationally known restaurants, such as McDonalds, Burger King …
Anyway, sign here before you leave….
What is that? True your local community college does offer the same program for $10,000 a year less, but we promise you small class sizes and personal attention, especially when you have fallen behind on your tuition payments.
So just sign here and we will start plunging you into debt before you know that. Oh don’t worry, debt is a good thing, you have to start establishing your credit, so sign here …..